Nineteen Years Ago Today, I tried something.

People who know me at just about any level know I am an alcoholic in recovery.  If you are just now finding this out, well, I guess it never came up in our conversations; I am certainly willing to visit about it.  I belong to a program that values anonymity among its members and respect that.  I also realize that if we only share our experience strength and hope within the rooms, then people have to make it to the rooms to get a glimpse of hope, a glimpse that there is a different way.  I try and share when and what is necessary at an individual level.  Today is special, so this one time, I am going to do it a bit differently.

I am putting this out there- to thank the people that have helped along the way, and to encourage anyone who may be struggling.  I am celebrating 19 years of sobriety today.  When I was new, I heard that if I would dream my biggest dreams, they would be too small for what my life would become.  19 years later, this is true.  I have life that is full:  relationships, fun, family, joy, peace.  You name it.  I have it.  I don't have it all, all the time, but I have something all the time, and I can say at the end of each day I am grateful.

Contrast that to 20 years ago...when my life was quite limited.  Limited by my addiction.  Limited by my flawed thinking.  Limited by my lack of hope.  Limited by my lack of joy.  Limited by my self doubt.  Limited by my certainty that life would not change.  All limits set by alcohol's hold on me.

Thank you to all the people that helped along the way.  Thank you to those who loved me when I did not love myself.  Thank you to those that had hope in there eyes that I could see, even though I had none of my own.  Thank you to the people who hugged me when I did not want to be hugged.

And, if there is anyone out there who struggles with alcohol or any other addiction or mental health issue- reach out to someone.  It doesn't need to be me.  What I did not think, that I do now, is that life is not meant to be each of us individually trying to live our best life independently.  It is meant to be spent in relationship- helping others be their best selves, while they help us be our best selves.   Try it. (see, once again, I make it fit the title of the blog...)